Going to watch a film

Ah movies,what a wonderful medium of entertainment, its essentially entertainment packed into a couple of hours. They have the ability to make us think,laugh,question ourselves(and humanity) and are quite inextricable to human culture at this point. It is quite funny to think that the first motion picture ever recorded was in 1888. Its been around 132 years now, but considering that human beings have only been around since about 300,000 years it is quite amazing that in such a relative short span of time movies have become such a huge deal.

Now when thinks about watching a movie the first thing that comes to many people's mind is cinema theatre. That gigantic hall with rows upon rows of seats, full of expectant spectators, all in front of a gigantic screen. Many people love the social aspect of going to the movies, you know enjoying a movie with their friends and being immersed in the experience and its often been represented as an apt choice for dates(information completely sourced from hollywood movies and shows). It is no wonder that people weren't particularly pleased by cinema theatres shutting down en masse courtesy of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I for one however am not particularly saddened by this change in affairs. Now the reader might have been expecting a poignant account of film history and how it has affected us culturally and as human beings.. nope you're just going to get a rant from me about how I hate going to the movies.

Some people having fun watching a movie unlike yours truly

Yeah that's right! I hate going to watch a film at the theatre and before you all wield your pitchforks and dash forward to murder me, let me explain why I feel like the movies aren't the best for me.

1.) I'm not a person who watches a lot of movies

Not much to really explain here per se, I generally like reading,videogames or watching T.V shows much more than watching a movie. Perhaps I just like more drawn out forms of entertainment? 

2.) All the freaking people

Remember when I said that people might enjoy watching a movie because of its social aspect? Yeah that isn't the case for me. I don't do very well in social situations and tend to shut up and focus on how people are perceiving me more than actually focusing on me(when believe me, they have better stuff to do) rather than enjoying the movie in peace. Not to mention all the hooting and cheering. (It's much better when you are with friends though).

PS: There's a special place in hell for you folks who take over that armrest T_T

3.) My eardrums just imploded

Don't you just love it when the theatre guys think its a hoot to crank the volume up and scare the living daylights? I hate loud sounds and the level of volume in theatres is straight up unbearable for me. I feel like I'm having a vietnam flashback just thinking about that blaring volume *shudder*

4.) Do I HAVE to sit through this?

When you watch a movie on your lonesome using a streaming service, you can usually skip over parts that you feel aren't essential to your viewing experience. Examples of this include: Cringe-coma inducing dances, Scenes in which a person who has been told a lie finds out the truth etc. However none of them are quite as bad as the ever increasing number of, how do I put it... unsavoury scenes. It's a thousand times worse when you decide to finally watch a movie with your parents and well you want to shrink, shrivel up and die.

5.) Please rip me off more

Cinema theatre concession counters are probably some of the worst bang for your buck deals out there(its more like tiny water gun squirt for a thousand). Their prices are exorbitant and they ensure that they get you to spend as much as you can with deceptive discounts, packaging and the like. 

I could go on but I suppose this is enough to show you why I personally don't like watching movies at a theatre but now you might be asking, "Alright Aby you colossal twit, why don't you tell us how you DO like watching movies?". I'm only too glad to oblige.

My go-to-method to watching movies is to set the fan to (the sweet spot) get nice and comfy in my wide armed chair, get some Doritos and Pepsi(Coke can go jump off a cliff) and watch it in 480p quality(any higher and I feel guilty for whatever reason) by my lonesome. Emphasis on that last bit there, "lonesome". Now the reason for that is not because I'm a sociopath or anything(I mean I think I am but that's not the reason why)  its merely because I have this strange ritual of watching a movie and criticising it when there is certain plot holes or when a character does something stupid(in my opinion-remember my last post?). 

The only exception I'd say that I have to this rule'o mine is the horror genre and thats because I'm a huge wuss, nothing more to it.

Ciao 

Aby