Me and My Brothers

This blog post is so much more, contemplative than usual. I sit here now that I've finally found the time to type a post after a month reminiscing of times that have gone by,fleeting as they might have been.

Brotherly bonds are probably some of the most hyped up things in popular media in general. Songs, poems, stories,movies all of that brotherly bond where one is ready to sacrifice himself for the other are almost commonplace at this point.

I have two brothers, one older and one younger. I'm often told about how lucky I am to have both an older and a younger brother, that I have the best of both worlds as the middle child. Yet I would be lying if I said that wasn't always the case for me. For the longest time I hated my older brother because of the most trivial things. Is it a sign of my emotional maturity that I no longer do that? Perhaps or maybe its more along the line of "I don't have time to be pissed off".

My older brother was born on the 11th of May, I, on the 11th of October and my younger brother, on the 11th of April. My mother, smiling, often says that we're God's gift to her. There's a 2 year gap between me and my older brother and an eight year gap between me and my younger brother.

My older brother and me didn't get along really well when we were younger to say the least, we constantly got into fights, faces were punched,ankles bruised and noses bled. We were perpetually seen as polar opposites, my older brother was always much more reserved and curt with his replies, whereas I would gaily talk about everything under the sun(hey I guess much hasn't really changed huh) to anyone who could listen. I was stout, he was lanky and thin, I had a flair for the dramatic, he was low-key, but it was the strangest thing whenever we did get along, those were some of my most cherished memories.

My older brother went through a lot in the 12th grade, I saw him frustrated with himself unable to rack his brains and sit at his desk and study for hours as my parents said. I would try to encourage him and sometimes would try and mediate between him and my parents. Now when I myself am in the 12th grade, I understand to some degree the pain he went through, I can only hope that instead of being annoying I helped him albeit to a tiny degree. He was indifferent most of the time from 11th to 12th but ever since he got out of 12th and into college, it seems like something breathed some life into him. We get along much better now and heck we talk practically everyday which to most people would be natural for two people who live in the same house but for me and my older brother its something dare I say it, miraculous.

My older brother shouldn't be seen as a jerk though. Despite what he said to me, he always kept a place for me, he always thought of me no matter what happened. My mother often tells me that when I was just starting with school I would often cry and kick up a fuss when I reached the school, it was my older brother who would grin, hold my hand and walk me in consoling me. He was never the type to say something about us being brothers or how he'd look out for me, but nevertheless I suppose I still always felt it.

I was there after my younger brother's birth, I remember standing on my toes to look at my younger brother, who took one look at my grinning face and immediately burst into tears. I'm not going to lie when I say that I didn't really understand the gravity of having a younger brother. I remember when my mom told me that I was going to have a younger brother(well we didn't know if it was a boy at the time) I replied with something to the effect of "Hm oh wait really? When? Okay". My mother probably wasn't expecting such a mild response.

Once he was born, guests practically visited the house every 6 hours, I missed some of the old attention that I used to get but this is about the time when I really started to get a bit awkward socially. Whenever my mother's hands were full with stuff, I was entrusted with the responsibility of looking after my younger brother. I carried him, fed him and at some point even bathed him. Don't get me wrong I wasn't some sort of angelic older brother I spent plenty of time yelling at him for doing things that 4 years olds are just liable to do. 

I just knew I wanted to be the best big brother. However I was probably a bit too rough with him, there were many time I had to knock some sense to him and he wouldn't exactly appreciate it, my older brother preferred the hands off approach and he instantly became the favourite brother and I was told that I'm a stupid face.

As he grew out of kindergarten and became a first grader we both started going to the same building much like my older brother and I did when we were younger. I carried his bag and he walked ahead with the most swagger you have ever seen on a 1st grader. Over many days and many bags carried and many rains before I realised we became close. Whenever I'd see my younger brother after a long day it gave me a reason to be... cool.

No matter what else others told me, that sly grin of his would always be contagious and make me grin too. I guess at some point I became a protective older brother. 

And me? Well only my brothers can say what they think of me, but despite what they might say and do and despite what I say I will always love them because they mean a lot to me.

Life's too short to be spent on squabbles and hatred and I don't wish to waste mine, perhaps one day when I'm older I'll read this again and cringe, but then again sometimes the things we say are so true that its embarrassing.

Toodles!

Aby