The Layman's guide to brewing the quintessential cup of tea(chai to be specific)

 Ah yes, tea. What an elegant yet simple beverage, a symbol of the aristocracy and yet one of the poor as well. 

Most kids grew up drinking some concoction formed from Boost or Bournvita or Milo growing up. I was however fussy and despised such drinks. Yes, I deliberately avoided drinking chocolate flavoured milk, sue me! I've never been one to consume large amounts of chocolate or chocolate flavoured stuff so I suppose this was just a manifestation of that tendency. What did I drink then? Just milk, which is decidedly boring and par for the course.

Then one day when we were visiting some relatives, they were bringing out tea and coffee for everyone and some juice for the kids. I don't remember why exactly but I remember being like, no thanks I'll have some tea. Like, what kind of self-respecting nine-year-old turns down juice and it wasn't even that lousy excuse for juice-Tang, it was the good stuff. I suppose it just showed that I was always a man of impeccable taste(or that I did and probably still do make choices on a whim). I drank it and... was like meh this is fine. If you were expecting me to spontaneously burst into flames or something you keep forgetting that I wasn't particularly appreciative of much stuff around me at that time but then again one would have to assume that most nine-year-olds are like that.

But ever since then I consistently asked my mum to make me tea for my morning and evening drink and I guess I've just fallen in love with it. Tea when you look at it represents so many possibilities. One would probably associate tea with rainy days and snowy days and cosy blankets and warm cuddl- NO DAMN IT. Tea does not need a season! Tea is amazing whether it's 48 C outside or -10 C because tea is so much more than a beverage, it's a sensation really. Ah but then you ask, why oh why then Aby doesn't everyone drink tea?

Well the old me would have probably gotten petty and said that it's because of pathetic bland coffee, which is hyped up for giving you energy and whatnot, however, I've been undergoing a process of well, openness. I'd mentioned this in an earlier post but I'm much less dismissive of opposing opinions now and try to understand the opposing perspective much better.

So I did the same with coffee and I'm still petty, but I'm reluctantly petty. Coffee is overrated, but not insanely overrated I'd say. I'd suppose that it really comes down to preference in the end and this is really indicative in my own family. My dad and my older brother belong to Clan Coffee and my mom and me, to Team Tea, as for my younger brother he doesn't really give a crap... for now.

However, I feel like the way that Tea and Coffee have their effect is vastly different. Now, of course, there will be different varieties of coffee which will be exceptions to my point but I for one think that most of the coffees and teas I've had have been having a pretty predictable pattern. For ease of understanding, I shall explain with an analogy. Let's say you're getting hit(not the most appetizing analogy, I know, but bear with me) Coffee is like someone punching you in the gut, really hard. The flavour is strong and vibrant and so is the energy that you get from drinking a cup of joe. How about Tea then? Well, imagine that someone's hitting you with a pillow but the blow ends up having bigger force over time. because the pillow's larger surface area gives you a less intense blow but one with a force which ultimately is equivalent or dare I say even more than Coffee. 

Tea's flavour is inexplicably amazing, provided you have the right grounds for it, it's like being hugged and having a warmth course through irrespective of the temperature around you but it's the mellow, fun kind of warmth. 

Let the record state however that I think that either one is absolutely great and you should really pick one that you enjoy ultimately, both have different characteristics that make them alluring. However, I will state that you have to try a proper tea to decide if you like it or not. Of Coffee, I can't say much because I'm not experienced in that side of the "beverage wars", but it's sacrilege if you ruin a good set of tea grounds, on this I can speak with authority.

Now that I've digressed and dilly-dallied enough I shall actually get started on my idea of a quintessential chai or cha-y-a as we Malayalis call it.

Let's talk components,
Milk
Water
Tea powder
Sugar

and that's it. YEAH, THAT'S IT. Leave that ginger, garlic or whatever other bullshit you were cutting up for tea aside. The fundamental chai needs nothing more than the symphony of Tea powder, milk and water(and sugar just because sugar makes everything better and more diabetic).

Now one of the most important steps to brewing a proper cup of tea starts even before you turn on the stove(I hope you took the seminar on that and boy do I feel sorry for you if you haven't) and that's to measure out your ratios. I have on many occasions cursed mathematics to doom in the fiery pits of Tartarus but this is one of my few common grounds with it. The perfect tea requires a 1:1 ratio of milk and water. No more no less, you can save money on other shit but don't compromise with your tea. Also while we're at it, People boiling their water and milk in different pans...WHY? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF DEMENTED SICKO?! You do realize that you're staging a stage production of Romeo and Juliet in your kitchen every day don't you?

 Always keep your milk and water together, it'll give them some time to become a homogenous mixture and that gives you a smoother tea as the final product.

Once you poured in your milk-water mixture into the saucer set it to boil at a high temperature, this is the time when you can have existential crises and all that jazz but keep an eye on where the mixture makes contact with the interior of the saucer. When it starts to form tiny bubbles at the rim, that's your cue to add in the tea powder. Tea powder quantity is subjective and is also dependent on the actual strength of the tea powder. As a rule of thumb, you can usually use 1 teaspoon of tea powder and 1.5 if you want a stronger day(my brew). After adding in the tea powder set the saucer to simmer and wait, for a rich brown colour to envelope the mixture and once it's sufficiently spread you can turn up the heat and once the teas rises to 3/4 of the pan turn the heat off.

You can add in sugar while it's boiling, directly into the saucer and after as well. The amount of sugar is again according to the kind of taste you want 1-1.5 teaspoons of sugar per cup works for me.

Now mixing can be done with a spoon like a filthy casual or you can whip out a mug and mix it with that. Using the mug gives you a much frothier surface which doesn't really have much of an effect on the taste but hey it makes it more enjoyable.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my guide to making the quintessential cup of tea. Feel free to admire it, marvel that you haven't burnt down the kitchen and finally drink it.

      You, after drinking the Tea.

 If you even consider letting it go cold by taking pictures to post on Instagram, my lawyers will be in touch.

Of course, different people will have different ways and methods of brewing tea but as of right now this is how I make it!

Toodles!

Aby